not dead. just living.

I was going to just type "I'm not dead, just not blogging until the better computer is fixed" but then I looked at my post count and THIS is post 200. And 200 posts deserves something more than "I suck at blogging..." because if I've posted 200 times, I must not suck THAT bad.

Darin is at his first sleepover with friends. He's slept at my sister's house without me, at my mom's house, and at my in laws house, but never at a FRIEND'S house.... Crazy. The other 2 are napping, which means I have a spare moment, which is rare now a days.

I've been making some changes in life. And it's kind of spectatular that I have a moment to tell you about them.

I'm being here. I'm not blogging, and I'm not dead, I'm just LIVING. Experiencing my kids, hiding the iPod touch from myself, only texting when texted and living life as it is. And you wanna know what?

my kids are behaving better.

I sleep better at night.

I get up in the morning and read my Bible.

I've been having fewer anxiety attacks, and not been as stressed.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, because come 6pm, there have been several nights I've wanted to drink...heavily. (Just being honest). We're also only a few days into the changes, but I FEEL better.

I still am going to blog, and I"m still going to take pictures and I'm still selling Norwex. I'm just being a better mom first. At the end of the day, no one cares how many beautiful pictures I've posted, or that this is my 200th blog post, or that I just had a $503 Norwex show where I made $175 in under 3 hours. Because that's not what matters.

At the end of the day, the snuggles, the I love yous, and the slobbery kisses are really what matter most. And I'm going to enjoy every tiny second of it.

::deep breathe:: sigh::

Take a whiff. Life is amazing.



::in other news-- i'm downloading the 30 day trial of CS5 onto my brother's computer, so that I can edit on the same computer that has internet....

Matt made it to CA. Went to get us on the housing list, and turns out Sawyer wasn't listed as his kid (or at all). Got that fixed the next day and now we have to wait 5-7 days for the computers to update. We'll know more about when the boys and I (and my mom) will drive to CA next week.